The Gnawing Knowing

Why is it so frightening to know what we know? Why do we cling so fervently to our (mistaken) beliefs about who we are, what we are "supposed” to do and what we think we need in our lives?

The idea of having all of these preconceived notions stripped away is terrifying. We fear ending up like something relative to being homeless and naked. Exposed. And very, very vulnerable.

But it may be that in allowing ourselves to become exposed and very, very vulnerable that we are finally able to know God – the God within, the Spirit, the Source that exists for all of us, within all of us.

Perhaps we hear better when we are brought to our knees. At least, that is when we seem to be willing to listen. When we are broken and laid bare – when we are desperate for a solution, a way out of our fear and pain.

And this, it seems, is a part of the spiritual journey. If we sign up for this, we (hopefully) go upward through the spiral of evolution, to greater and greater understanding, and deeper and deeper connection to our essence – the essence from which our Meraki - our soul, love and creativity - comes.

And we will fall down, again and again. But these are not failures with which we must punish ourselves. These are gifts – lessons – should we choose to open them and look inside.

There are no mistakes. No failed relationships. No wrong career choices. It is all good, all right, and all worthy, IF we allow ourselves the grace of the lessons that they hold and allow them to bring us closer to our essence, to our Source, to our soul, to all that we are meant to be.

"Advice from My 80-Year-Old Self" by Susan O'Malley, SFMOMA

Sharon Eisenhauer