You may have heard of The Rules: The 35 ways for women to get to marriage in the shortest time possible. Well, these aren’t those.
These are money rules. Specifically, my money rules. These were the stories that were running in the background around what money should and shouldn’t do, or be. Unfortunately, I was not terribly conscious of the fact that many of these were dancing around in my head, running the show.
Here is the gist:
- Money = love. In order to be loved, you must follow the rules. Otherwise, money (love) is withheld.
- * Buying things makes you feel better.
- Sometimes it’s necessary to hide purchases or to lie about spending. That’s okay ‘cause *.
- Having money shows others that you belong and thus are wanted and lovable.
- Not having money (being poor) is distasteful, dirty and disgusting - and lazy.
- You must work hard to earn your money and it must be done perfectly.
- You do not play until your work is done.
- Doing charity work makes you morally superior.
Yea, well. I can tell ya, ummm, those don’t work so well. At least not in the long term. At least not if you want to live a spiritually led, financially sober, happy, abundant life.
This unconscious insanity has required quite a bit of re-wiring. Here are some new ones I'm trying on. I rather like them.
• There are no rules that need to be followed in order to be lovable. The only thing you need to do to be loved is to just be. Even better, to be your most true self. Would you want someone to love someone you were pretending to be???
• Buying in order to feel better is a temporary high. You will come down from it. And it may not be pretty. Valuing who and what you have will sustain you far longer. Gratitude. Breathing. And connection to Spirit will get you through.
• To have love, you must allow yourself to receive it. No stealing, sneaking or cheating required. Just say yes. And thank you.
• The feeling of belonging with those whose only connection is money is tenuous and conditional. It is a very fragile landscape – like thin ice - that anyone could fall through at anytime. Belonging with those who connect from a soul place is so much more deeply rooted and stable - so much more true to your essence.
• Not having money could be a choice, or it could stem from circumstance. Wealthy people can pay others to clean for them. Those without money must do it themselves. Sometimes, eating is a priority! Duh!
• Money (abundance) is an energy source that comes via many channels. It requires being open to it, allowing it. Welcoming it. And yes, often, it requires work. Hard work. And sometimes is comes effortlessly. Amen!
• Your best effort is good enough. Perfection is about control (fear!) and is the antithesis of allowing.
• In order for work to be done well, with soul, love and creativity – one must play first! And allowing the work to be play is much preferred and far more effective!
• Being of service is about humility.
‘Nuf said. For now.