The Stakes of the Stake

 eight of swords from the wild unknown tarot deck, by kim krans

eight of swords from the wild unknown tarot deck, by kim krans

For how long must we operate in our lives tied to a metaphorical stake? Powerless to move, to take care of ourselves, to free ourselves?

In a recent morning meditation, I began as I usually do - visualizing a golden ball of light floating above my head – my Soul Star. I breathe into this light anything that I’m holding: any negativity, any residue from within my body. Like a super-powerful magnet, it sucks up all of this shadow energy, burns it up and transforms it into Golden Light that I then pour throughout my body.

On that particular morning, I sensed what felt like a wooden stake running the length of my spine. No matter how I tried, I could not breathe this stake into the Light. It remained in my spine, with me tied to it.

Understandably disturbed, I continued with my meditation, grounding myself and attempting to move the energy. Then suddenly, I realized that I was capable of removing what was binding me to the stake. I had had this capability all along.

For how many lifetimes have I allowed myself to be bound in this way? There was no one outside of me attempting to burn me at the stake – not this time.

But I had so internalized this multi-generational message of shame, blame and guilt that I kept myself in that place - further heaping on the negativity and continuing to struggle, belittle and berate myself for the incessantly repeated messages with which I had been indoctrinated so long ago.

It wasn’t until that morning, a few weeks ago, that I recognized that I was capable of untying all of the places where I was bound to this metaphorical stake - this stake that I claimed as a Victim. This stake that I clung to out of familiarity, out of low self-esteem, out of the indoctrinated culture that tells me that I am less than and undeserving.

As the meditation continued, I unbound myself. Then I fell to the ground and wept with the realization that I was free and with the grief over having kept myself in that place for so long, not knowing that I was truly capable of releasing myself.

The release was not an instantaneous process. There remains the slight shadow of this wooden stick in my spine. But I’ve come upon a new vision to transform it. Placing my hands above my head, I pull the stake out, and as I do, the stake transforms into a gleaming sword – a sword that I can brandish fiercely in the face of that which would threaten to replace the bondage of Victimization.

And so I practice. Daily. Slicing into virtual bits the shards of the enemy, Victimization, that threaten my Sovereignty. Beware the enemy that seek to stake a claim to me again!