A Soul's Worth


What is the cost of a soul? We usually live as though we can buy one. Or pay it off. Or bribe it. We compromise ourselves, making tradeoffs in work or love or myriad other ways that we usually later regret. 

All of this bargaining is ultimately in an attempt to feel loved. We long for the love that was beaten or shamed or coerced from us. Most often we never realized the deal we were brokering when we gave it away.

In exchange we may have received approval, or inclusion, or at the very least, a temporary stemming of the pain.

Most of us do this for our entire lives. But the sacrifice we are making takes its toll. We become angry, ill or depressed. We see ourselves as victims, that we are slaves to our circumstances.

And we feel that we don’t have the key to the shackles. But we do. We always did. Maybe no one told us where it was, or how to pick the lock. The key may be buried beneath layers of generational pain. But it is there.

We may have spent decades, pick-axe in hand, chipping away at fossilized rage and grief - alternating with a shovel to dig out the shame.

What we never knew, or perhaps weren’t ready to hear, was that, while using these tools built our muscles; the key to unlocking this chest of misery and betrayal has been within our reach at all times.

It rises up from the redwood sapling and towers in the sky. We can drink it in while falling into the velvety spiral of a rose. Or hear it in the thrum of a hummingbird’s wings or in a dolphin’s song reminding us to smile.

This is Love that has been here for millennia. Always. It is everywhere. Love. Only Love.

It is everywhere, but it requires our conscious attention to let it in; to fall into its arms; to let it cleanse away our eons worth of shame, betrayal and rage.

Into the arms of the Great Mother, Gaia, Love Itself, we can allow ourselves to fall. To be held. To grieve the pain, the loss; and to again see the beauty that has always been there.

With this recognition, this remembrance of what was always there, the muscle that truly needed strengthening has a chance to expand. We realize that we have had a cage of armor surrounding our hearts, a cage that must be opened. In fact, this armor must be discarded entirely in order for this astounding muscle to grow.

What protects our heart when we allow this is compassion and forgiveness. For ourselves first. For others, after.

I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. We offer Ho’oponopono - a Hawaiian prayer of compassion and forgiveness.

So we lay to rest the pick-axe and the shovel – the tools that kept us digging relentlessly at the past.

We can be grateful for what they revealed and trust that the other puzzle pieces that require revelation will come in silent recognition and with gratitude; free from the chains of victimhood that kept us bound to the past (or so it seemed!).

We choose Love. Only Love. And anything that reveals itself as less than love, we ask that it be brought gently and compassionately into the light.

Sharon Eisenhauer