For how long must we operate in our lives tied to a metaphorical stake? Powerless to move, to take care of ourselves, to free ourselves?
In a recent morning meditation, I began as I usually do - visualizing a golden ball of light floating above my head – my Soul Star. I breathe into this light anything that I’m holding: any negativity, any residue from within my body. Like a super-powerful magnet, it sucks up all of this shadow energy, burns it up and transforms it into Golden Light that I then pour throughout my body.
On that particular morning, I sensed what felt like a wooden stake running the length of my spine. No matter how I tried, I could not breathe this stake into the Light. It remained in my spine, with me tied to it.
Understandably disturbed, I continued with my meditation, grounding myself and attempting to move the energy. Then suddenly, I realized that I was capable of removing what was binding me to the stake. I had had this capability all along.
For how many lifetimes have I allowed myself to be bound in this way? There was no one outside of me attempting to burn me at the stake – not this time.
But I had so internalized this multi-generational message of shame, blame and guilt that I kept myself in that place - further heaping on the negativity and continuing to struggle, belittle and berate myself for the incessantly repeated messages with which I had been indoctrinated so long ago.
It wasn’t until that morning, a few weeks ago, that I recognized that I was capable of untying all of the places where I was bound to this metaphorical stake - this stake that I claimed as a Victim. This stake that I clung to out of familiarity, out of low self-esteem, out of the indoctrinated culture that tells me that I am less than and undeserving.
As the meditation continued, I unbound myself. Then I fell to the ground and wept with the realization that I was free and with the grief over having kept myself in that place for so long, not knowing that I was truly capable of releasing myself.
The release was not an instantaneous process. There remains the slight shadow of this wooden stick in my spine. But I’ve come upon a new vision to transform it. Placing my hands above my head, I pull the stake out, and as I do, the stake transforms into a gleaming sword – a sword that I can brandish fiercely in the face of that which would threaten to replace the bondage of Victimization.
And so I practice. Daily. Slicing into virtual bits the shards of the enemy, Victimization, that threaten my Sovereignty. Beware the enemy that seek to stake a claim to me again!