It is so very easy to believe that people, situations and things are our source of love, our financial support, our happiness. We do it ALL of the time.
"If I make his needs more important than mine, then he will never leave me."
"When I land this job, I’ll have it made."
"I will be in heaven when I get those keys to my new car (sailboat/condo)".
What we fail so often to recognize is that when we give the power of our love (security, happiness) over to something else, we block the essence of the only thing that truly can give us what we need and long for.
But we think we still need that thing we never got. We believe with all of our hearts that he/she/it can make us happier than we ever have been. Ever. Ever.
In our holding so tightly to these beliefs, we choke the life out of the only true and consistent flow – of love, of money, of happiness.
There really is only one Source. We can actually experience it often. If we look, every day, we can find little miracles – the parking space in front of the theatre on a rainy night; the exact amount of change we need for the parking meter; the friend who calls us just before we even realize that we’re about to lose it and need to talk.
The Source is there. Always. Sometimes we need to fine-tune our dial. Maybe most times. Take a deep breath. Pause. And listen. So simple. Not so easy.
We have expectations. And these people/situations/things fail to live up to them. They are not bad. Or wrong. In failing to live up to our expectations, they may even be doing their jobs to remind us that they are not our source. (Not that they are necessarily privy to this.)
With daily practice, I’ve been stepping into the noticing. I’ve actually started making lists of times when I experience the abundance of my Source. And the more I look, and listen, and trust – the more it reveals itself. Kinda cool. Really freakin’ cool.
And then I fall back into my expectations that a person, or a thing be a certain way. And when they are not, I feel angry. Sad. Disappointed. Because I forgot. They are not the source.
So I am committing to heeding the directive, the sign, that the trail that leads to the past, to false hopes, wishes and expectations, is now closed. It's a trail that was washed away in a storm. It's a trail that no longer serves.
As I turned away from this closed trail and headed up the open path, a man jogged by and called out, "Enjoy!". Did you know that Source is bald and has hairy legs (at least for today)? Now I do.
May you and I discover and know this Source. Be open to it. Listen. And remember. Always. All ways.